{"id":83557,"date":"2024-02-09T08:26:47","date_gmt":"2024-02-09T14:26:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.stress.org\/?p=83557"},"modified":"2024-04-06T03:56:38","modified_gmt":"2024-04-06T03:56:38","slug":"how-stress-dumping-and-free-floating-anxiety-hurts-relationships","status":"publish","type":"news","link":"https:\/\/www.stress.org\/news\/how-stress-dumping-and-free-floating-anxiety-hurts-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"How Stress-Dumping and Free-Floating Anxiety Hurts Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 class=\"blog-entry__subtitle--full\">Left unchecked, free-floating anxiety can destroy relationships.<\/h2>\n<h3 class=\"blog_entry__key-points-title\">KEY POINTS<\/h3>\n<ul class=\"blog_entry__key-points-item-list\">\n<li class=\"blog_entry__key-points-item\">Stress-dumping and free-floating anxiety are often driven by internal fears projected outward onto others.<\/li>\n<li class=\"blog_entry__key-points-item\">Living with free-floating anxiety is exhausting, leaving you conditioned to worry and catastrophize.<\/li>\n<li class=\"blog_entry__key-points-item\">Manage your anxiety by cultivating new self-soothing techniques such as discharging physical tension.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>There are times in life when\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at anxiety\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/anxiety\" hreflang=\"en-US\">anxiety<\/a>\u00a0is natural and necessary. Anytime you take a risk, try something new, or engage in potentially dangerous activities, a burst of anxiety is a wake-up call, a tap on the shoulder that says,<em>\u00a0\u201cHey! Pay\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at attention\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/attention\" hreflang=\"en-US\">attention<\/a>! Be careful!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>In this way, anxiety can be a protective force that keeps you focused, alert, and engaged.<\/p>\n<div class=\"markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-0\" data-slot-position=\"0\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-83558 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.stress.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/pexels-fauxels-3182808-scaled-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1707\" \/><\/div>\n<p>But what happens when anxiety becomes the dominant\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at emotion\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/emotions\" hreflang=\"en-US\">emotion<\/a>\u00a0in your life? What happens when stress becomes embedded in your sense of\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at identity\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/identity\" hreflang=\"en-US\">identity<\/a>?<\/p>\n<h2>What is free-floating anxiety?<\/h2>\n<p>While walking through a neighborhood park in New York City, I spotted a poster perfectly capturing the essence of free-floating anxiety: a cartoon of a woman calmly asking herself,\u00a0<em>\u201cWhat should I worry about today?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<div class=\"markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-1\" data-slot-position=\"1\"><\/div>\n<p>When anxiety becomes a way of being, you\u2019re conditioned to worry. In fact, you\u2019re searching for new things to be upset about. Free-floating anxiety (also known as generalized anxiety disorder) is an internal state of agitation that attaches itself to new situations and concerns. Rather than sit with the anxiety and process, examine, or relieve it, you project it outward onto people, places, and things. Free-floating anxiety is, in essence, internal discomfort displaced onto the world.<\/p>\n<p>Here are some of the troubling outcomes of free-floating anxiety:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You try to control others in an attempt to regulate your worries. (See\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/when-kids-call-the-shots\/201711\/do-you-have-a-controlling-personality\">&#8220;Do You Have a Controlling Personality?<\/a>&#8220;)<\/li>\n<li>You develop inflexible beliefs and opinions.<\/li>\n<li>You make\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at fear\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/fear\" hreflang=\"en-US\">fear<\/a>-based decisions.<\/li>\n<li>You see potential disaster and stress everywhere.<\/li>\n<li>You\u2019re increasingly distrustful of others and society.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-3\" data-slot-position=\"3\"><\/div>\n<p>All this can make living with free-floating anxiety exhausting, leaving you feeling constantly beleaguered and on edge.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s consider the significant damage it does to your relationships.<\/p>\n<h2>How stress-dumping and free-floating anxiety hurts your relationships<\/h2>\n<p>Years ago, while working in a mental health clinic, I had a supervisor who lived in a permanent state of angst. She worried about the therapists she supervised, their patients, and her patients. She worried about budget cuts,\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at politics\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/politics\" hreflang=\"en-US\">politics<\/a>,\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at the environment\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/environment\" hreflang=\"en-US\">the environment<\/a>, the color of the waiting room walls, the cleaning staff, the bathroom supplies\u2014you name it, she worried about it.<\/p>\n<div class=\"markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-4\" data-slot-position=\"4\"><\/div>\n<p>She also had a bad habit of spewing anxiety and dumping stress onto anyone who came in contact with her, ranting to them about all her worries and concerns.<\/p>\n<p>She was notorious for inducing tension in others. For example, even if you were having a good day, when she called you into her office, you left exhausted and discouraged, and you desperately needed a nap.<\/p>\n<div class=\"markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-5\" data-slot-position=\"5\"><\/div>\n<p>What did her free-floating anxiety get her? She was universally avoided and disliked.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s draining to be in the presence of permanently anxious people because they are constantly pulling us into their latest crisis. Their high stress levels are contagious, making them terrible listeners and impossible to please. As they pull you into their vortex of worry, the more you begin to avoid and resent them, or even block them on\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at social media\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/social-media\" hreflang=\"en-US\">social media<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Friends, partners, lovers, co-workers\u2014virtually any relationship can be damaged by excessive worrying and stress-dumping. (See\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/when-kids-call-the-shots\/201809\/the-negative-voices-of-an-anxiety-disorder\">&#8220;The Inner Voice of an Anxiety Disorder.&#8221;<\/a>)<\/p>\n<h2>The negative impact on parent and child relationships<\/h2>\n<p>Parents are among the biggest worriers in the world\u2014and with good reason. Being charged with your child\u2019s well-being is an enormous responsibility, chock full of worries and concerns. A parent who doesn\u2019t worry about their kids is most likely neglectful.<\/p>\n<p>But, at a certain point, those anxieties can become corrosive to parent-child relationships. When a parent constantly shares their worries about their child with their child, their child experiences the parent as being critical, having no\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at confidence\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/confidence\" hreflang=\"en-US\">confidence<\/a>\u00a0in them, and just plain depressing.<\/p>\n<p>Children begin to think,\u00a0<em>\u201cYou don\u2019t believe in me. You don\u2019t see me as a capable person.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>This dynamic eats away their sense of trust in their parents. The more parents express their worries, the more kids want to push them away.<\/p>\n<h2>How to stop stress-dumping anxiety<\/h2>\n<p>If you think you suffer from free-floating anxiety, consider the following steps:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><em><strong>Identify the internal source of discomfort.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>Chances are, there\u2019s something you\u2019re unhappy about. Maybe it\u2019s your job or relationship; discomfort and frustration are most likely generating that anxiety. Try to identify what it is.<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Cultivate self-soothing techniques.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Are you\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at sleeping\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/sleep\" hreflang=\"en-US\">sleeping<\/a>\u00a0well? Eating well? Are you engaged in creative activities, such as painting, hiking, writing, or community-based activities that bring you peace and comfort? Anxiety needs soothing activities\u2014not rumination.<\/li>\n<li><em><strong>Discharge physical tension.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>Not all anxiety can be put into words. When we\u2019re unable to identify it, anxiety transforms into physical and mental tension. A cardio workout of 30 minutes or more three times a week can lower anxiety by up to 75 percent. Move your body and discharge that tension rather than look for someone to dump your worries and concerns on.<\/li>\n<li><em><strong>Bring more joy into your life.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>What brings you joy? What makes you smile and laugh? What gives you a boost of adrenaline, endorphins, and old-fashioned\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at happiness\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/happiness\" hreflang=\"en-US\">happiness<\/a>? People who experience free-floating anxiety and engage in stress dumping are notorious for being unhappy. Target that unhappiness and find a way to address it.<\/li>\n<li><em><strong>Consider\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at medication\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/psychopharmacology\" hreflang=\"en-US\">medication<\/a>.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>If you\u2019ve tried\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at therapy\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/therapy\" hreflang=\"en-US\">therapy<\/a>, counseling,\u00a0<a class=\"basics-link\" title=\"Psychology Today looks at coaching\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/basics\/coaching\" hreflang=\"en-US\">coaching<\/a>, exercise, and everything mentioned above, and your anxiety isn\u2019t improving, it\u2019s time to consider medication. Why white knuckle your way through life with such high tension and stress levels? Make an appointment with the psychiatrist and schedule a consultation.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/when-kids-call-the-shots\/202402\/how-stress-dumping-and-free-floating-anxiety-hurts\">Originally posted in Psychology Today<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/photo\/photo-of-women-talking-while-sitting-3182808\/\">Photo by fauxels<\/a><\/p>\n<p>By <strong>Sean Grover, L.C.S.W.<\/strong>,\u00a0 author and psychotherapist who leads one of the largest group therapy practices in the United States.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Left unchecked, free-floating anxiety can destroy relationships. KEY POINTS Stress-dumping and free-floating anxiety are often driven by internal fears projected outward onto others. Living with free-floating anxiety is exhausting, leaving [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"give_campaign_id":0,"pmpro_default_level":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false},"categories":[139,194,211,156],"tags":[136,137,138,191,202,207,208,143,209,210,157,120,147,167],"class_list":["post-83557","news","type-news","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-life-blog","category-family-stress","category-relationship-stress","category-sleep","tag-ais","tag-american-institute-of-stress","tag-anxiety","tag-child","tag-family","tag-fear","tag-medication","tag-mental-health","tag-parent","tag-relationship","tag-sleep","tag-stress","tag-stress-management","tag-wellness","pmpro-has-access"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How Stress-Dumping and Free-Floating Anxiety Hurts Relationships - The American Institute of Stress<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.stress.org\/news\/how-stress-dumping-and-free-floating-anxiety-hurts-relationships\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Stress-Dumping and Free-Floating Anxiety Hurts Relationships - The American Institute of Stress\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Left unchecked, free-floating anxiety can destroy relationships. 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