{"id":47836,"date":"2022-01-19T08:01:34","date_gmt":"2022-01-19T14:01:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.stress.org\/?p=47836"},"modified":"2024-04-06T06:31:06","modified_gmt":"2024-04-06T06:31:06","slug":"stress-is-contagious-in-relationships-heres-what-you-can-do-to-support-your-partner-and-boost-your-own-health","status":"publish","type":"news","link":"https:\/\/www.stress.org\/news\/stress-is-contagious-in-relationships-heres-what-you-can-do-to-support-your-partner-and-boost-your-own-health\/","title":{"rendered":"Stress is contagious in relationships \u2013 here\u2019s what you can do to support your partner and boost your own health"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mb-12 col-span-full md:col-span-2 xl:col-start-1 mt-9 md:mt-14 lg:mt-20\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row mt-2 flex-nowrap gap-x-2\">\n<div class=\"sr-only\">With the flurry of shopping, spending money and traveling to see family, stress can feel inevitable during the holidays.<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-47839 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/www.stress.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/greg-rakozy-SSxIGsySh8o-unsplash-e1641067368286-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"169\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.stress.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/greg-rakozy-SSxIGsySh8o-unsplash-e1641067368286-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.stress.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/greg-rakozy-SSxIGsySh8o-unsplash-e1641067368286-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.stress.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/greg-rakozy-SSxIGsySh8o-unsplash-e1641067368286-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.stress.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/greg-rakozy-SSxIGsySh8o-unsplash-e1641067368286-600x338.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.stress.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/greg-rakozy-SSxIGsySh8o-unsplash-e1641067368286.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"col-span-full md:col-span-6 xl:col-span-5 md:mt-14 lg:mt-20\">\n<div class=\"mb-8 prose with-dropcap \">\n<p>You might already know stress can affect your own health, but what you may not realize is that your stress \u2013 and how you manage it \u2013 is catching. Your stress can spread around, particularly to your loved ones.<\/p>\n<p>As a\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.purdue.edu\/hhs\/hdfs\/directory\/faculty\/shrout_rosie.html\">social-health psychologist<\/a>, I have\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/j.bbih.2021.100328\">developed a model<\/a>\u00a0on how partners and their stress influence each other\u2019s psychological and biological health. Through that and my other research, I\u2019ve learned that the quality of intimate relationships is crucial to people\u2019s health.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s just a sample:\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1177\/0963721420949521\">Relationship stress can alter<\/a>\u00a0the immune, endocrine and cardiovascular systems.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.apa.org\/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0022-006X.71.1.176\">A study of newlyweds<\/a>\u00a0found levels of stress hormones were higher when couples were hostile during a conflict \u2013 that is, when they were critical, sarcastic, spoke with an unpleasant tone and used aggravating facial expressions, like eyerolls.<\/p>\n<p>Likewise, in another study, people in hostile relationships had\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1001\/archpsyc.62.12.1377\">slower wound healing, higher inflammation<\/a>,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/S0031-9384(03)00160-4\">higher blood pressure and greater heart rate changes<\/a>\u00a0during conflict. Middle-aged and older men\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1093\/geronb\/gbv023\">had higher blood pressure<\/a>\u00a0at times when their wives reported greater stress. And partners who felt they weren\u2019t being cared-for or understood had poorer well-being and higher mortality rates\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1097\/PSY.0000000000000618\">10 years later<\/a>\u00a0when compared with those who felt more cared-for and appreciated by their partners.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"jetpack-video-wrapper\"><iframe id=\"youtube-3182021\" title=\"How to deal with holiday stress\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/UaqtxE4y-zA?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" data-ratio=\"0.5625\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"360\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" data-load-mode=\"1\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<h2 id=\"h-conflict-and-cortisol\">Conflict and cortisol<\/h2>\n<p>Cortisol is a hormone that plays a key role in the body\u2019s stress response. Cortisol has a diurnal rhythm, so its levels are usually highest soon after waking and then gradually decline during the day. But chronic stress can lead to unhealthy cortisol patterns, such as low cortisol levels upon waking or cortisol not tapering off much by the end of the day. These patterns are associated with an increase in disease development and mortality risks.<\/p>\n<p>My colleagues and I found that conflict\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/j.psyneuen.2020.104839\">altered cortisol levels<\/a>\u00a0of couples on the day they had a dispute; people with stressed partners who used negative behaviors during the conflict had higher cortisol levels even four hours after the conflict ended.<\/p>\n<p>These findings suggest that arguing with a partner who is already stressed could have lasting biological health effects for ourselves.<\/p>\n<h2>Managing stress<\/h2>\n<p>Here are three ways you can reduce the stress in your relationship, during and after the holidays.<\/p>\n<p>First, talk to and validate each other. Tell your partner you understand their feelings. Talk about big and little things before they escalate. Sometimes partners hide problems to protect each other, but this can actually\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.apa.org\/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0893-3200.21.3.380\">make things worse<\/a>. Share your feelings, and when your partner shares in return, don\u2019t interrupt. Remember,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1177\/0956797615575022\">feeling cared-for and understood<\/a>\u00a0by a partner is good for your emotional well-being and promotes healthier cortisol patterns, so being there for each other and listening to each other can have good health effects for both you and your partner.<\/p>\n<p>Next,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1097\/PSY.0b013e318185c4fc\">show your love<\/a>. Hug each other, hold hands and be kind. This too lowers cortisol and can make you feel happier. One study found that a satisfying relationship can even help improve\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.doi.org\/10.1097\/PSY.0b013e318185c4fc\">vaccination response<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Then remind yourself that you\u2019re part of a team. Brainstorm solutions, be each other\u2019s cheerleaders and celebrate the wins together.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.3389\/fpsyg.2019.00571\">Couples who unite<\/a>\u00a0to tackle stress are healthier and more satisfied with their relationships. Some examples: Make dinner or run errands when your partner is stressed; relax and reminisce together; or try a new restaurant, dance or exercise class together.<\/p>\n<p>That said, it\u2019s also true that sometimes these steps aren\u2019t enough. Many couples will still need help managing stress and overcoming difficulties. Couples therapy helps partners learn to communicate and resolve conflicts effectively. It\u2019s critical to be proactive and seek help from\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.aamft.org\/Directories\/Find_a_Therapist.aspx\">someone who is trained<\/a>\u00a0to deal with ongoing relationship difficulties.<\/p>\n<p>So this holiday season, tell your partner that you\u2019re there for them, preferably while you\u2019re hugging. Take each other\u2019s stress seriously, and no more eyerolls. It\u2019s not so much the stress itself; it\u2019s the way that both of you manage the stress together. Working as an open and honest team is the key ingredient to a healthy and happy relationship, during holiday season and into the new year.<\/p>\n<p>This article is republished from\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/theconversation.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Conversation<\/a>\u00a0under a Creative Commons license. Read the\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/theconversation.com\/stress-is-contagious-in-relationships-heres-what-you-can-do-to-support-your-partner-and-boost-your-own-health-during-the-holidays-and-beyond-173071\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">original article<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>With the flurry of shopping, spending money and traveling to see family, stress can feel inevitable during the holidays. You might already know stress can affect your own health, but [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":47841,"menu_order":0,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"give_campaign_id":0,"pmpro_default_level":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false},"categories":[139],"tags":[136,137,143,120,147,175,165],"class_list":["post-47836","news","type-news","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-daily-life-blog","tag-ais","tag-american-institute-of-stress","tag-mental-health","tag-stress","tag-stress-management","tag-stress-reduction","tag-stress-relief","pmpro-has-access"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Stress is contagious in relationships \u2013 here\u2019s what you can do to support your partner and boost your own health - The American Institute of Stress<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.stress.org\/news\/stress-is-contagious-in-relationships-heres-what-you-can-do-to-support-your-partner-and-boost-your-own-health\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Stress is contagious in relationships \u2013 here\u2019s what you can do to support your partner and boost your own health - The American Institute of Stress\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"With the flurry of shopping, spending money and traveling to see family, stress can feel inevitable during the holidays. 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